Following up about the 5 love languages (a part 2 to this post), I’m discussing specifics I learned about my characters and their love languages, and how it helped me write my story.
For Eric, Elena, and Jess, they all had “Quality Time” as their number 1. That this was in sync made it easy to make those togetherness moments into positive relationship development because all three felt doing “nothing” while being together still made them feel more valued than any other sort of activity. “Just give me ‘you’ and I’m happy,” they each seem to say. Conversely, it’s easy to see why the relationship could become strained when they couldn’t be together for whatever reasons.
All three had “words of affirmation” second or third, which suggests that in place of quality time, a little note “I wish I could be there with you” might go a long way to keep the relationships moving forward. On the other hand, not talking would be taken as a sign of negative feelings. Perfect for conflict and hiccups in the relationship development.
“Acts of Service”, doing things to help each other out, was low on everyone’s list. This comes from the fact, I think, that they’re each very independent and don’t view being helped as a gesture of love, but as a gesture of “you’re not doing this right.” A “room for growth” sort of trait.
“Receiving Gifts” is nice, but Eric and Jess didn’t find it important, ranking that love language least important (5th out of 5). It didn’t mean the characters couldn’t give or receive gifts, but that there’s usually a reason/occasion, not “just because.” Elena would probably give a gift just because and be questioned what was the occasion.
Elena needs slightly more “Physical Touch” than either Eric or Jess, but it is definitely a language of love for all three of them.
Bottom line: All this gave me so much material when writing We Three that I had half of the sequel written before I published the first book. (Speaking of which, I reached the 2/3 mark on We Fit this past week.) You’ll see some of those scenes in the next few days’ posts.