The 2nd/3rd on the trio’s list is Words of Affirmation. This love language is not ego stroking but offering genuine, heartfelt statements of how a person’s is appreciated for being who they are.
For Eric this manifests as wanting to be appreciated for things that reinforce he is not like his father whom he saw as selfish and self-centered. He usually responds to comments with a nod or a touch, but the words touch him deeply as shown in the excerpt of Jess seeing him off for work (link).
For Elena this is about receiving support and encouragement when she tries new things. Her mother didn’t like her to be so independent, so she needs reinforcement that being independent and capable (link) is something that people appreciate about her.
For Jess, words of affirmation further help her feel encouraged to stick around because she is appreciated for something she is or has done.
Today’s excerpt is from We Fit, my WIP and sequel to We Three. It’s Jess receiving affirmation from Elena.
A fingernail tapped at the door. Jess looked up as Elena leaned in around the edge. “Hey,” the brunette said. A mixture of concern and what Jess had come to understand was love shined in her brown eyes.
“Hey,” Jess replied, rising up on her elbows.
“Still enjoying your achievement, I see,” Elena nodded toward the letter in Jess’s far hand.
“I really did it,” Jess said.
“You are amazing,” Elena assured, leaning over Jess and placing her hands on her forearms to balance as she sought out her lips. Then she settled onto the bedspread next to Jess’s hip. “And this will only make you more amazing.”
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What do you think? Is “Words of Affirmation” a great way to show deepening love?
Lara Zielinsky 