Bi Visibility

I am bisexual. It’s not a secret in my family or friends online or in real life, though I am not one to constantly write or talk about it. Sexual orientation doesn’t exactly come up in a lot of my conversations for one big reason: I don’t have a lot of conversations with people in general (Myers-Briggs INFJ)

That’s right. I am not a party girl. I prefer coffee dates to club dates. I don’t dance, and I have now registered and resigned from FIVE Discord servers because I just do not find these social environments engaging. I am trying to widen my social circle, though I’m still an introvert. Large gatherings are things I have to work myself up to attending. That whole spoons theory? Yeah, that’s me, contemplating if I have enough to go to a gathering even for just a couple hours. Forget being the life of the party. I dislike any crush of bodies or constant noise.

I am also not very visible because I am partnered with a man. He’s great, and very supportive of me finding fulfillment in anything I want to do. He has constantly made it possible for me to write my books. He’s the inspiration for Eric Tanner from We Three. But being married, even when I’m in an open, ethical non-monogamy group, has a tendency to make me appear heterosexual; that whole Bi-Erasure situation. “Well, she’s not dating a girl, so how bi can she really be?” gets thrown around a lot.

Bottom line, I am so not a megaphone person; if you ask I will tell you, but it grinds down on me, actually. I think that I should be out more, doing more, being more bisexual somehow. But that “need my privacy” part cringes – and tries to remind me that bisexuality IS, regardless of who we are partnered with.

Anyway, I will be over here being quietly bisexual. I’m once again going to volunteer for the Bi+ Book Awards judging. The email request came just yesterday (which reminded me to finish this post). This will be my 4th year if I’m accepted.

~ Lara

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